Diary of a Unionist #4: Anita's Perspective on Drugs in Sex Work
Our expert collaborator and vice-president Anita shares her views on 'bad urban habits'.
Anita's Perspective
This time, our correspondent Aphrodite shared the views of our expert collaborator and vice-president, Anita. The topic is 'bad urban habits' in and out of sex work. I am very honored to be able to speak out loud about the fact that my 13 years in this profession, where I experienced all the cocaine paradise and all the cocaine hell (yes, one does not go without the other, they go hand in hand), and all these rich experiences were not in vain. Let's be honest - without pretense and beautification - cocaine gave me both exceptionally beautiful moments and the greatest horror of my life. And I only got to know all this well in this profession, which is extremely connected to drugs. We have nothing to object to here, drugs are, and always will be, as for some clients, the package of fun is a girl plus drugs. This cannot be avoided. Cocaine is medically proven to be the only substance that affects sexual desire in the brain, while erection preparations (Viagra, Kamagra, Cialis, etc.) only maintain an erection but do not affect desire in the head. But there are many snares and traps lurking for a girl in this business, which I myself have learned through bitter experiences. And I want to talk about this so that you girls can be aware of the problem while it is still a 'seed', to recognize it in time before this 'seed' grows into a 'tree' - that is, into a bad habit that brings trouble.
Patterns of Drug Use in the Profession
In our profession, there are days and hours (I called them snorting hours) when more clients with drugs come. These are Friday and Saturday nights (when people go to parties or from parties), also hours when people after-party (Saturday and Sunday morning and forenoon), and during the week late evening hours (at that time, clients come who do not have a regular job in the morning, i.e., people who are 'otherwise self-employed'). At that time, a larger percentage of clients come who have drugs with them. But know that there is no rule - a snorter can come any day and at any time - even on a Tuesday at three in the afternoon. No matter what hours you work, you will encounter them. In this article, I will not deal with drug use when a person goes to have fun, but exclusively with use that is tied to this business and us in this business. Know that there is no safe drug use, there is only less risky drug use, so I consulted with the organization Drogart, which deals precisely with not prohibiting drugs (as we well know what we would achieve with prohibitions - not much), but tries to mitigate the harm of taking them.
Four Reasons for Drug Use
Girls in this business use drugs for four reasons: - consuming drugs together with a client when the client brings them, - consuming out of boredom while waiting for clients and calls, - consuming after too much or too strenuous work to release steam, - consuming to be able to do this work at all because you have an aversion to it and cannot work sober because it repulses you. Each of these points is a chapter in itself, hiding its own traps. We will only deal with the first three, which can happen to any girl in this business who has decided to do it VOLUNTARILY, who likes to do it or finds the work at least acceptable. While the fourth listed is not within our power - girls who have such an aversion to this work that they cannot do it sober, that they have to be under the influence of something, are usually forced into it. And these girls are the domain of societies and organizations that rescue victims of forced prostitution, human trafficking, etc.
Consuming with a Client Who Brings Drugs
A client who takes drugs will become more talkative, more lively, also more perverse, will have a weaker erection or none at all (the so-called 'limp dick'; from my experience, I can say that only about five percent of men get a good erection on cocaine, all others will have a weaker erection). At the same time, due to the drug, they will have wilder fantasies about what they would do (but their tool doesn't work as they would like). And a coked-up client's male ego will be more prominent, which is most expressed when something is not to his liking, he can become difficult or even aggressive (aggression also includes verbal aggression, that he wants to dictate to you as if he is the boss because he paid you and treated you to drugs, that he wants to set the conditions). All these facts must be taken into account when a client comes with cocaine. And if you consume with him, you can have a good time at first, but things can go wrong, a previously friendly client can turn into a difficult one during the meeting and try to take advantage of you in one way or another, because you will also be high and so much more vulnerable that he will try to cross your boundaries in one way or another, which you will have a harder time maintaining when high or will not be so attentive to them. You need to know how to handle such clients, regardless of whether you are sober or not. Otherwise, they can walk all over you, cross your boundaries wherever they can. IT IS UP TO YOU TO MAINTAIN THESE BOUNDARIES IN TIME AND ON THE GO, otherwise you will regret it in the end.
Common Complications with 'Snorters' and How to Proceed
A difficult client due to a poor erection: There are two categories of snorting clients. The first are not at all burdened by whether their tool is hard or not, they simply enjoy chatting, teasing, even with a limp dick, watching porn, etc. With these, just be mindful of the time, so you don't drag out the meeting too long if you forget about the time because of the pleasant company. The second category are those whose cocaine-fueled minds are racing with what they would do, but it doesn't work with a limp dick, and they even fantasize about coming, but they're not even hard... A meeting with such a person can be a real torment if they tire you out the whole meeting trying to get them hard, of course, more or less unsuccessfully. And they can be so difficult that they nag you about not getting them hard and that they won't leave until they come... With such clients, you need to set a boundary right at the beginning when you see it's not working, clearly state that it's not your fault he snorted and can't get hard, that you can enjoy teasing, redirect his attention a bit through humor and conversation, in the hope that he understands that you are not obliged to dislocate your hands and lips to get him hard and completely exhaust yourself in the process. Jokingly let him know that he will get a better erection next time he comes sober, maintain a healthy dose of humor so he doesn't feel embarrassed because he couldn't get hard, let him know that it's not a big deal. That you will have proper sex next time he is sober, and now he can wank at home to the beautiful memory of the meeting. Truly, such difficult clients who want to force an erection can totally exhaust and drain you if you don't set a boundary in time and in the right way. So they can try to enjoy the pleasant company and teasing, not forcing an erection, as this is a burden for them too. And so they feel with you in a way that they know they have no reason to be embarrassed about a limp dick. When boundaries fall: When you are pleasantly chatting with a client, the hour quickly turns, and you, being high, forget about the time. It can happen that a client you are having fun with and who is treating you to white, pays for half an hour or an hour, but stays the whole evening. He thinks that because he treated you, he is entitled to this extension of the meeting, and it becomes self-evident to him that he brings you drugs for a joint party. For a while, it might be pleasant for you too. But know that you will spoil him in this way, that a free extension of the meeting will become self-evident to him. And when you really can't extend, he will be offended that you are kicking him out. You spoiled him yourself by always giving him so much time. It is wise to clarify that drugs are not a form of payment, but at most an addition - his voluntary addition. Let him know that any extension of the paid time is exclusively your goodwill, by no means an obligation because he treated you. When boundaries fall and the client 'makes himself at home' with you, know that it is very difficult to set them back - so be careful even with seemingly innocent things from the beginning. Everything you give in to and that may not seem important to you at that moment (when you are both high), will become self-evident to him. You are the master of your workspace, not him! He has no business walking around the apartment into other rooms without your permission, he has no business helping himself to drinks from the refrigerator without asking! He is still your client, not your friend! Also, consider that it is a minus for your business that you voluntarily extend the time when you party, as during this time you could be working with other clients. At the beginning, it's nice to have pleasant company for a party who also treats you to drugs, but in the end, he can get so comfortable that it will be self-evident to him, and a burden to you, when he settles into your workspace and snorts. And such hosting with you will be self-evident to him. SET BOUNDARIES IN TIME SO THAT IT DOESN'T COME TO THIS STAGE! Theft and sexual violence: Confirmed countless times from my own experience, this can happen to you even with clients who are super friendly at the beginning and you get along so well that you would never dream they would be capable of something like that. But they are, believe me! In drug-related circumstances, the most common reason for theft is that the client is a dealer and the party with you seduces him to snort his own stuff that was meant for sale. And when the guy realizes what a loss he has made - you are his first potential prey to cover that loss. He will most likely not rob you violently, but they are slick, skilled in manipulation, to successfully divert your attention so they can rob you. And this, even if you watch your money well. Even by pretending to be half asleep, you wake them up, constantly watch your purse, want to kick them out of the apartment, and they accidentally fall asleep on your purse... Yes, I'll go, just put that away, I'm going, you know... But all this is a manipulation tactic, so that your wallet with the entire night's earnings disappears. This happened to me with a client with whom I got along so well that I was thinking I would have such a man for a boyfriend... And then such a shock surprise - he steals my entire night's earnings because he made a loss in his dealing business while partying with me. Even if you watch your money well, believe me, they are skilled in manipulation! Also be aware of the risk that when the stuff runs out and he calls for more, his friend or more friends come up with it. Men in the company of their friends are proven to behave differently than when they are alone with you. Friends stick together. And it can happen that they will force you into sexual services, shove their dicks under your nose, saying, what are you doing, woman, we are treating you, that unfair working conditions will arise and they will force you into things you don't want to do, as they think they will pay you by drawing you a line. And your client who called them will side with them, not with you - no matter how golden and friendly he was before when you were alone. In the worst case, it can even lead to rape. Remember, if he has already ordered new stuff, do not just allow new coked-up men to enter - so you are alone with two or more - because it can happen that they will want to dictate and be masters in your workspace, and you, being high, will have a hard time setting boundaries. And you will be exploited.
Consuming Out of Boredom While Waiting for Clients
It often happens in the business that you are waiting for calls, there is a lull, nothing smart is happening, there are no clients or too few... That's when the saying that boredom is the mother of all addictions proves true. You don't feel like chatting with your colleague anymore, you have nothing new to say, nothing smart on TV, you can't be on social media all the time - and the thought creeps in to spice up the boredom with a little drug, and suddenly things start happening. All this is, of course, a minus, both for the business and for you, that you will get hooked just like that, for no reason, out of sheer boredom. And then be burned out and tired. How to avoid this? While waiting for calls, you can occupy yourself, for example, with a good book. I also have a very good recipe, tested many times, that helps, which will occupy both you and your colleagues, so that nonsense won't run through your heads, to spice up boredom with a drug. Instead of ordering food, get engaged (if your workspace has a kitchen) and cook something good together! Enjoy it, a structured gourmet lunch (from soup to dessert or as desired) will keep you all well occupied - shopping, chopping and preparing, cooking, then washing dishes and cleaning up. You won't have time to stare into space, be bored, and think about how you would snort! Of course, during food preparation, you professionally answer the phones and also do a client and continue later, as when everything is ready, it is cooked or baked in half an hour. It works, a very practical tip against snorting out of boredom.
Consuming to Unwind After Strenuous Work
This is a fairly common reason for a girl to get high or snort on a random day, when it's neither a party nor anything, but an ordinary working day, because she is so drained from too many or too difficult clients and her valves are giving way, that she feels the tendency to want to release them. And you think - I worked really hard, I made good money, now I deserve to relax a little. It often starts with alcohol first and only then does the drug come along, when the alcohol tickles your head well, that you want something more with it... And you think, I'll just have a little... And from this, it often turns into more than just a little. We know how it goes. When you start the tour, it's hard to stop when you planned or predicted. The thing very often spontaneously drags on. And the next day you regret it - you're burned out, you can't work, and you've pointlessly spent a good part of your hard-earned money. And you beat yourself up - why did I need this, to just go crazy for no reason, it was just an ordinary day!?! Actually, the whole concept of this is very simple, but I myself had to repeat this exercise many times to understand it. When a day comes in the business when your phone is ringing off the hook, you are already tired from previous work, but the phone keeps ringing and new clients want to book... At that time, you remember those days when there is no work, when you are staring into space and you think - today there is finally work, I will push through and do as much as I can... From too much or too strenuous work, you are already a little irritable, nervous, maybe something even hurts (I call this a 'worn-out pussy'), but the phone is still ringing and you want to take advantage of the work, as maybe the next few days will be quiet again... And so you push your psyche and your body, despite the fact that both have already warned you that it was enough for today... You push yourself to the last drop - so that after the workday you feel the need to release the valves. And you do it. Now think, that day you pushed yourself, your body or psyche (or both) to the point that you earned well and then released the valves. How much of that earning was left or how much did you spend on substances - for releasing the valves? And how many days after that could you not work because you were burned out and tired? Compare these facts with how it would be if you had stopped in time, when your body and psyche were already warning you that the measure was full, that you would have let the last few clients go or postponed them to another day. True, the earnings for that day would have been a little less, but you wouldn't have spent it on releasing the valves, because there would have been no need for it. The next day you wouldn't have been burned out, you could have worked normally when you wanted. You would have had more money than if you push through one day and then recover for three days because you can't work burned out and tired after releasing the valves. And you spend that earned money. Remember my words well, when you are already thoroughly tired from work, but your phone will keep ringing, and weigh what you can gain or lose by pushing yourself to the point that you might feel the need to release the valves after work - if so, try without drugs.
Disclaimer
Warning: The Dobra Družba organization does not support, mislead, recruit, or encourage the use of any substances, whether legal or illegal. We are aware that through awareness, we can contribute to reducing use or contribute to the conscious reduction of harm that may arise from use. The situations are described based on the practice of voluntary residential prostitution, which is most widespread in Slovenia. The mentioned cases are not a sample of the entire industry, but similar situations are increasingly common and are transmitted from the entire state of socio-social behavior. We feel a duty to inform and educate sex workers about the positive aspects of this activity, and especially about the pitfalls that may come their way. The entire text of the quote is an original work based on personal experience.